5 Things I've Learnt Interviewing Death Professionals

Insights from talking to people who work with the dead and the dying

1. Children’s deaths are the worst

It’s unanimous. Even for the most experienced professional, the death of a child hits the hardest. For Coroner’s Officer, Bob, it was discovering the remains of a stillborn baby abandoned in a cupboard. For Funeral Director Andy, it was placing Disney stickers on the coffin of his best friend’s child.

2. Viewing the person you love after they die can be helpful

If you are properly prepared, viewing the body of the person you love can be helpful in coming to terms with their death. Louise, a Family Liaison Officer, insists on going in first so she can tell families exactly what to expect. Even when a body is badly disrupted, families can find solace in seeing their relative. Mo, who exhumed mass graves in Bosnia remembers a young woman jumping into the grave of her father and hugging his skeleton.

3. Some people want to die alone. Don’t take it personally

Lizzie, a death doula, says it is quite common for people to die when you have left the room. It can be simply the easiest way for them to let go. They may be trying to spare your feelings.

4. Dogs can help you cope with professional burnout

Dogs can play a vital role in helping you recover your equilibrium after a hard day of death. They were cited as being more useful than partners who had a tendency to ask you about your day and then disappear before hearing your answer.

5. There is very high job satisfaction working with death

Everyone I spoke to worked incredibly long hours on relatively low pay for very little recognition doing jobs most of us would shun. Yet they all said it was the best work they had ever done and were proud to help families in their darkest hours.